next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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