Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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