So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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