I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
