Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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