I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize