I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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