I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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