Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
