Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
