Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
