The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
