we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We don't watch enough power rangers
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
