I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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