After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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