So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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