She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
