so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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