i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
