Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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