He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
