After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
