I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
