so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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