Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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