I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
