he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize