Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
