remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We need to rekindle our bromance
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
dude. I can hear the air.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
