I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
