why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
