as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
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i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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