Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Tell her she can't have a vagina
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
