Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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