The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
