He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
