Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
