as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
