I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
