oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
