some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
