Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
