Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
