I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize