Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
