I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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