ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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