Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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