When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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