He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
