i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
