And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
