Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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