we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize