I think my vagina is haunted
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
