I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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